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The Deceased of the Western Road Burial Plots Are Turning in Their Graves

Disclaimer: Before you read on, please take note that this is A PARODY, NOT REAL and most definitely DOES NOT REFER to any REAL PERSON, DEAD or ALIVE.

A week after the local council published notices in local newspapers announcing its intention to update the register of burial rights of those buried in the Western Road Christian cemetery, a strange phenomenon started to happen within the cemetery.

The once-peaceful cemetery was abuzz with activities as graves are suddenly being exhumed by its occupants. Many of the deceased are slowly climbing out of their permanent resting place, none of whom looked pleased to be woken from their slumber.

The cemetery groundskeeper, who had noticed the phenomenon, had immediately tipped off the media and quickly make a run for it. After all, he did not want to be blamed for waking the dead.

John Smith, a Royal Australian Air Force soldier who died in 1948 and was buried in one of the plots there, seemed to be leading the rise of the dead, amongst those are his comrades, the British soldiers, the Russian soldiers and the other civilians buried there.

"Since we are in danger of losing our homes, I think this is a good time that all of us get organised and we will all go get registered with the local council," the skeleton with a few scraps of rotting material hanging on his frame told reporters in a brief press conference yesterday.

Another deceased, still in the midst of decomposing and emitting a putrid stench, pushed Smith aside to have her say.

"Ignore Smith. I think the local council is so stupid. I mean, we are all dead and resting peacefully here and there they are wanting to wake us up to provide them with all those immaterial details. I mean, look at us! Does it look like we have the receipts to the burial plots?" the woman, who only wished to be known as Mary, said while gesturing to her rotting clothes and flesh.

"Yes, look at us. Some of us has been here for almost 100 years, how do they expect us to provide proof of purchase or date of purchase?" another skeleton demanded.

"Now, now, settle down. I am sure we can get all this sorted out in no time. We must hurry, we have until Nov 30 to get registered or we may no longer have a place to rest peacefully!" Smith told the crowd of unhappy, far-from-peaceful, skeletons and decomposing bodies.

Smith said most of the dead, some of whom has been there for almost a century, do not have surviving relatives to do the registration for them. Those who do have surviving relatives do not even know if the relatives are still living in Penang.

"It is indeed a big mess here. Some of us has relatives who are living elsewhere and some of us, like myself, do not have any relatives to claim my bones or provide a new resting place for us. So, we have no choice but to rise from our peaceful slumber to register with the council," he said when asked why the deceased are rising from their graves.

The MPPP is conducting an exercise to update the register of burial rights of those buried in the Western Road Christian cemetery.

It had published notices in local newspapers calling for individuals with burial rights or the family members and personal representatives of those buried in the 19th century cemetery located on Jalan Utama (or popularly known as Western Road) to provide detailed information such as date of purchase of the plot, plot number, name and address of the applicants and representatives, proof of purchase and the name of the deceased.

They are required to provide the information by Nov 30, otherwise the council will repossess the plots for other uses.


Be careful of phishing emails and other suspicious emails

In this technology age, we can never be too trusting of emails that we get. After all, you never know if it's a scam, a hoax or a way to cheat you of your money, your property or worse, your identity. You may think that these hoaxes emails are just waste of your time but it can be much, much worse.

Many people are unaware of the rising crime of identity theft. By identity theft, it means people can use your personal information that they gleaned from you through their fraudulent emails and then 'become you'. They could go to the extent of using your name, your social security number and everything about you to purchase things, to take up mortgages or to even commit crimes!

That is why you should be very careful about releasing your personal details to virtual strangers and if you have already done that, it is best that you check whether your identity have been stolen in sites like ID Watchdog. It is a good thing that there are sites like ID Watchdog so that we can be reassured that there's no one else out there using our identity to commit crimes or run up a really huge bill!


Penang Free Wi-Fi Spots

Okay, so it's been awhile since I updated this blog, I've been preoccupied with stuffs of late...
Anyway, I'm sure every Penangite must have heard about the great Penang Free Wi-Fi project by the state government.

Well, let's make one thing clear. It's not installed by the state government but approval was given by the state government. The project is by RedTone, some telecommunications company. And the CM, who loves to harp on something on and on, is merely promoting it and of course, taking credit for it too. Anyway, essentially, it's a private project, condoned by the state government and promoted by the state government. 'For the good of the people' or so it's said.

Whether it's any good or not (the wi-fi service), one should not be complaining too much right? After all it's free (so said the CAT minister). Whatever it is, his claims of almost whole of Penang will have free Wi-Fi should ALWAYS be taken with a bucket of salt.

Why? Well, from the looks of phase one, the hotspots are only at certain locations and shops. Not exactly at some kampungs or public parks or anything. Here's the list in case you want to try using the free service. Oh yeah, and another thing, before using, you need to register and enter personal details like your name, IC, race, income, age group, profession, etc. It's a rather long questionnaire.

And if you can't see the list clearly, to put it in a nutshell, it's available at Prangin Mall, Komtar, Queensbay Mall, some shops and restaurants in Bukit Jambul, BJ Complex, two shops in Jalan Dato Koyah (Lee Car Engine Servicing & Commass Construction), one shop in Argyll Road (Kaiser Hardware), Jalan Kampung Malabar, one shop in Jln Kangsar (Perniagaan Ban Seing) and over at the mainland, Megamall Pinang, some car accessories shop, Synergy College, computer shops, some restaurants and some other shops (check the list).

Oh well. The stupid Wi-Fi card in my laptop is not working so I won't be surfing outside the house for now. But if you want to surf, go to Starbucks, the wi-fi is also free and pretty good too.