Clear and Bright Day

Clear Brightness Festival

Festival for Tending Graves

Grave Sweeping Day

Chinese Memorial Day

Tomb Sweeping Day

Spring Remembrance

All Souls Day (though it sounds like the Roman Catholic's All Souls Day, it's different)

These are the different terms (well, according to Wikipedia anyway) given to our annual Cheng Beng ritual or Qing Ming in Mandarin.

I remember all those years ago when I was dragged along for this annual ritual and I hated each and every time. With a vehemence. To me, even when I was just a kid, all this burning of candles, paper and offering of food seemed a waste of time and energy considering those are all offered to the dead. I mean, they are already dead. Why do they need to eat? It is well and alright to offer prayers for their poor souls and even to visit the graves as a sign of honour and respect. But to offer food and burn stuff, well, I find that a bit pointless.

Luckily, after my loud protestations for several years and my mysterious disappearance just minutes before the family set out to the cemeteries, I managed to escape the futility of such an unpleasant experience again. I escaped the Cheng Beng ritual for over ten years! Wooohooo! What fun! No more hiking up uneven, mosquito infested graveyards. No more suffocating inside a crowded and smoky columbarium. No more waking up at the crack of dawn to go to some grave of a relative I don't even know or have never met before.

Then I met my husband. Of all the crappy luck, his family is very into it and so, the suffering is back. Sigh. Will it never end? Thankfully, after much persuasion and brainwashing and more persuasion, the hubs finally agreed to drop the annual ritual. The fact that we are now fully Buddhists also kinda help matters along. What a relief!

So, last year, out of curiousity, I did some research and digging to find out the origin of the ritual/festival. Why is it called Cheng Beng/ Qing Ming? Why is it held on April 5 (or April 4 on leap years)?

Thanks to the wonderful world of the web (and Wikipedia), I discovered that it all started as the Clear and Bright Festival. It was not all about graves or cemeteries or dead people at all. Nope. It was a traditional festival to celebrate the wonderful Springtime as the day is the 104th day after the winter solstice or the 15th day from the Spring Equinox. In other words, it is a great day for an outing to enjoy the blooming flowers and greenery and blue skies and whatnots, thus the words 'Clear Bright' or Cheng Beng or Qing Ming.

Since it is such a clear and bright day, the Chinese obviously took advantage and made it a day to clean out their ancestors' and relatives' graves. From then on, the rest, shall we say, is history.

Due to commercialisation and modern advancements, naturally the basic gesture of cleaning and clearing the graves turned into a very complicated ritual of offering food and burning of paper replicas of modern things. One could only guess whether the departed ever do get to taste the food offered or receive any of the burnt stuffs.

I personally feel there is no need for so much fuss. Since I truly believe in reincarnation, I am sure our dearly departed ones would have been reborn at one point of time so they are not there anymore to enjoy the food and paper things.

My mom had left this world more than two years ago. To date, I had not burnt a single piece of paper money or things for her nor did I offer her any food. Well, it is kinda hard to do considering her ashes were scattered across the Pacific Ocean....but that is beside the point.

I firmly believe that she has moved on. I firmly believe that she is happy wherever she is now (either waiting in line to be reborn or already someone's baby somewhere...). I was only able to deal with my grief with this knowledge so I refused to burn or offer her food as if she is still here. I do not want her to be still here, stuck in limbo. To me, it hurts even more to think that she is still here and suffering a poor existence to be offered food and things only once a year. I'd rather believe that she had moved on along to the reincarnation process.

At least, I still have happy memories of the times I spent with her before her sudden death. At least, when I do think of her, it is not of her suffering in some spirit realm waiting for hell money and food and things to be burnt for her once a year. At least, when I think of her, it is of her blissfully going on to be reincarnated and being born into a good and loving family.

I had prayed for this for her during those difficult months of dealing with her passing. It helps much much more than visiting any grave at the crack of dawn!